pErSoNaLiTy

    It's probably no surprise that those who knew Aaron before his accident, one of the things I fell in love with when I met Aaron was his sweet personality! He was so easy going, helpful, and caring...he did whatever it took to make everyone else around him happy (including ME)!

   I remember the first week in the ICU when I started learning about what a traumatic brain injury was. The unit manager did a good job explaining everything to me. I can remember to exact moment when she started telling about how a person with a TBI's personality can be changed significantly. She went on to tell me that especially in young men that you could see a lot of aggression, among other horrible things.  She said that often people were very different from the person they were before the accident. My heart was crushed and whatever she continued to say I didn't hear. It was an awful feeling to know that I could have him but not have him if that makes sense. I stood there thinking about how much I loved Aaron's personality the most and how it would be sad to never have that part of him again in my life. 

    Fortunately for Aaron this was not the case at all, another one of our many blessings. Slowly but surely, to this day, his brain continues to heal. As each month, week, day, and minute passes I see more and more of that sweet personality that I love so much! 

    I'll be honest, things are not exactly the same. There are what I often refer to as "short circuits" from time to time. Most often it's just me who notices or people who really knew him well before the accident. Aaron sometime says something random or does something completely off. He sometimes doesn't have as good of a "filter" as he used to and will say those things you think but aren't supposed to say out loud! He also tends to have a little bit of a potty mouth now and then, especially when he is frustrated! And there are the times he wants to be heard (literally) and it comes out as yelling....I have had to really work on not worrying about these things, especially the part about what other people think. We get most of the old him, that is enough and I am learning to thankful for that! 

    He was also said to have short term memory loss. I don't have an recent evaluation that tells me how his short term memory is but from my own unofficial observations, it seems to keep getting better and better. People used to always ask me if his memory was like the movie character that Drew Barrymore played in 50 First Dates. I can't hold it against them, they don't know but I can tell you that I will NEVER watch that movie again and for the record Aaron's memory is not even close to the character in the movie :) 

    His long term memory has been evident since early on. Little things gave me hope that he was him the first few months...like him giving thumbs up, the ways we told each other we loved each other, and a favorite nickname Aaron had for me! He has recognized family member and friends the entire time. He also was able to start recalling personal information early on. 

    He completely surprised me recently, we were in the grocery store and ran into someone we used to go to church with (I am talking back in 2006). Aaron was polite, said hello and as we chatted for a minute. As we walked away and I asked if he knew who that was he instantly told me the man's name. When I proceeded to ask how we knew him, Aaron not only replied from church but was more specific and reminded me that we had been in a small group with him. 

mY hErO!

    I have a lot of favorite memories from the past four + years! Here's the latest to add to our story...

   We went to Legoland (right by our house) for the second time this summer. Aaron is pretty new to the theme park scene. Even though is he walking with his walker most of the time, we stick with the wheelchair for these things! We are also careful about what things we do while we are there because he can't do everything...yet! 

   Even though both trips I have had a little bit of help, I have chosen to do a lot of the pushing! If you have been to Legoland you already know how far the water park is from the parking lot and you also know about a few of the "hills" and obstacles. It's not the worse place I have ever pushed but it's also not up there on my favorites!

   I need to remind you that Florida is a hot place, especially in mid July. That just adds to the wheelchair pushing fun! We don't look especially pretty in the pictures after eight hours at a hot theme park, walking for miles, and spending over half that time getting drenched in the water park but you get the idea! 

   Toward the end of the day my one pusher had to leave, no biggie. I didn't realize how tired I was and how much harder that it was making it to push. It started with the 4D theater, the staff watched me park the wheelchair and transfer Aaron out and put the gait belt on. They yelled down to me that there was a wheelchair entrance. At this point, the last thing I wanted to do was to push him up and down that ramp again...wheelchairs need brakes by the way ;) 

    Next we went on "The Eye in the Sky". The entrance was down hill...I made a sarcastic comment to Aaron about how much fun it was gonna be to go back up and he replied with "Have fun!". As we exited the ride I got this great idea, that little light bulb inside my head went on! See below...

Aaron pushing his own wheelchair up the hill! 

    So we continued on, Aaron was actually enjoying walking for a bit rather than riding. He and I were talking and he told me to sit down. I thought he was joking at first but soon realized he was serious, the gigantic chair is actually pretty light and he said he thought it would make it easier to push with some weight in it (pretty smart might I add). 

Now I could get used to this...best idea ever! 

My self portrait of my new ride!

      Last but not least...I am very cautious about rides but I had been on this particular one with my first graders during a field trip this spring and felt is was pretty safe for Aaron! As we approached the entrance, I had to giggle as I saw this sign below. How cute is that?!

My HERO for sure! 

    I just realized his shirt also has "heroes" on it lol! I couldn't get a good picture on the ride, cell phones need to be put away but I grabbed it out quicky as we were getting ready to unload and this is what I got. 

Fun times! 

     So there you have it, another day in our life and more fun memories made! 

    P.S. I do have to add that even though Legoland's terrain does not feel very handicapped friendly as you trek across it all day long...the staff was super friendly to Aaron and very helpful everywhere we went!
   

tWo WeEkS...

    A lot of you knew that we did a three day trial allowing Aaron to be at home in the evenings and at a local adult day care while I was at work this spring verse being at a rehab facility full time.

   I know it probably sounds silly but the strangest thing was getting ready to leave the house together in the morning, something that we hadn't done in almost four years! My biggest fear was managing my time...dropping Aaron off at the daycare being to work on time! I also lost some of my freedom to come and go as I have chosen the past few years, something I am willing to give up (at least most of it) to have Aaron home more!

    Other than that trial, the longest stretch I had Aaron to myself was over a long weekend in September for his big 30th birthday trip to Ohio! (Which also went very well!)

    During some ongoing discussions for Aaron's continued care, we had talked about three days really not being a fair trial to see how the reality with Aaron home would really be like. That short of time was a piece of cake but the question was could I handle him longer on my own? 

    So here it is, July 8th and we start a two week trial. I will publish this after two weeks have past but I am going to try to write as we go so I can remember it all!

Day 1:
     I took Aaron to bootcamp with me at 6:30am, he smiled at us the entire time. I can only imagine what he was thinking watching these crazy women work out!
     I dropped him off at the day program and went to Legoland water park with a friend and her sweet girls. I got at least 14 calls that day...before I picked him up!

Day 2: 
    We slept in some, I woke up to him totally on my side of the bed telling me that he was glad I put up with his crap figuratively and literally (Yes folks, these are HIS words!). I couldn't help but laugh :)  
    Back to the daycare he went, I got a lot less phone calls but he had a little attitude when I dropped him off because he thought the staff was laughing at him, this was the first time I have noticed him being really sensitive. 
   My favorite part of the day was when we had dinner with some neighbors down the street! I had been looking forward to it for awhile and we finally made plans. I always get nervous taking Aaron to meet new people and actually having to socialize, I just stress over if we will "fit in" or will they even like Aaron. I was excited when Aaron said he had a good time and he really liked them! 

Days 3-5: After I picked up Aaron from daycare at 3, we headed south to Sannibel Island to meet his parents and the kids at their condo. 
   I had to laugh because his step mom asked what I was finding the most challenging and all I could think of was THE BEACH!!!! (Of course it was not an everyday obstacle, just a problem for the weekend thank goodness because it was hard work!) 
   It was a great mini vacation full of family, food, beach/pool, no-see-them bugs, and even a boat excursion to Picnic Island!

Aaron enjoying the sunset.

Boat ride!

Oops...

Taking a break at the condo!

Beach time!

Another sunset...

Day 6: We headed home, ate at Woodys (again), and spent time hanging out at the pool hotel with parents and kids. We ended the night by snuggling into bed to watch ET and eat homemade peanut butter pie. 

Day 7: Dad, Stepmom, and kids leave...mom comes lol! We spent most of the day being lazy and catching up from the few days at the beach!

Day 8-13: Daycare during the day, hanging out with his mom at night...normal stuff! 
    We have cooked out on the grill, went to Olive Garden soup and salad, and even met up with some friends one night. We've done some shopping and watched a lot of movies. He even convinced his mom to pick up an entire Dairy Queen ice cream cake!

     I can't believe two weeks is almost over and Aaron officially goes back to his other home tomorrow. In all honestly, I am kinda sad to send him back. I enjoyed being home with him and feel we did really well on our own. I am exited about all of the future possibilities and am so blessed to have had this chance to have him home with me. I have already started praying about the next step...whatever that ends up being! 


   

fOoTpRiNtS...

     "Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same. "

    I want to spend this entry bragging about some (it would be impossible to list ALL) of the people/things that left "footprints on our hearts"!

    There is no way I could ever begin to thank everyone for the big and small things they did the summer of the accident and over the past four years. I am very appreciative of all the love, support, and prayers that have been sent our way!

    I will be honest, during our ICU days, I started to keep track of the gift cards, treats, and nice things (including mowing our lawn) that people were doing for us but that became impossible as this journey turned into years. 

   

pRaYiNg FoR aArOn

Recently I was talking about Aaron, I know big surprise there, and I got on the subject of the ICU. Let me start this story by saying that I am fortunate to work for a small charter school in a small community. When Aaron's accident happened, news spread fast. I started getting many e-mails with prayers from complete strangers that only knew we worked with them. One particular email that I remember was from another elementary teacher at a nearby school that I had never met. She began by reassuring me that the hospital we were at was the best. She went onto share that her dad had been in the same ICU after his motorcycle accident just a few years earlier. She raved about how wonderful the staff were to her family and her dad. She continued to keep in touch, responding with more prayers and praise after each and every update while sharing their experiences in a positive way. Each email ended with "praying for Aaron" which I soon added to my emails because I loved it so much. Right before school starts each year, we have this breakfast and the whole charter staff comes. We were looking forward to finally meeting in person! We found each other, hugged and it dawned on me that throughout all of our emails I had never asked how her dad was doing now so I decided that is was finally time to ask. It wasn't until then that she shared that her dad had not made it. It touched me that knowing what she knew and experiencing what she had that she was such a blessing to us (complete strangers)...there are no words for how much I appreciated her positive attitude, support, and how she helped me to stay strong that summer. 

24/7

    I had a particular friend who wouldn't let me out of her sight at the beginning of all this mess. When she couldn't be there, she put another close friend of ours on "Renee duty"! There are times I found this rather annoying, I mean, I was perfectly capable of walking down the hall to the bathroom by myself but when given the chance she would not leave me to go home and sleep in her own bed...even if that meant another cold, long night on the small couches in the waiting rooms. Throughout that summer she missed her boyfriends birthday dinner, she babysat my in laws kids, took Aaron's family out to a Tiger's game for the 4th of July and helped plan a surprise visit from my childhood best friend. As we transitioned from the ICU to rehab, her boyfriend and her made special trips to see Aaron and then would take me to dinner afterwards. Then came my favorite...diner and drinks and drinks and drinks! Even to this day, I can depend on her for pretty much anything. I haven't known her forever but she has definitely earned a special place in our lives and I will be forever grateful that she stuck by me that summer and is still there for me now! 

tHe LiTtLe ThInGs

    From pens, notepads, and gum tucked inside my purse...tea from Panera....trips to Target...dinner at Olive Garden...pizza parties and picnics in the lobby...gas gift cards-when gas was more than $4...emails...co-workers...bible verses...random gift cards to restaurants...quote books...voicemail messages...sweet nurses...cards...random visits...flowers...strangers.... desserts stuck in my fridge when I got home...mowing my lawn...pedicures...family...good cafeteria...late night phone calls...food...sleepover friends...this list can go on and on and on!

    I am going to stop here...I know there is much more I can add to this particular blog so I will update it as more people and things come to mind because I haven't even touched on how truly blessed we are by everyones kindness!

fIrSts

    Aaron has gone through a lot of "firsts" and here is his timeline that I have kept. In the beginning, it was the simple things like moving his legs and walking but now it's the exciting things like going to baseball games and water parks. I went through the ICU events in the last blog about so these events start in September 2008, after he moved on to the rehab facility.

2008

September 1: First pushed call light on his own to get his nurses.

September 6: First mouthed anything...."Hi mom"!

September 12: First time continuous tube feed was turned off.

September 19: First (high back) wheelchair came in!

October 9: First time I squeezed into bed with him!

October 21: First time left fingers FINALLY started moving!

October 27: First time really bending right and left legs on his own. 

November 12: First time standing up!

November 19: First initiated steps!

December 9: First time whispering..."hi"!

December 13: First typing... "i love you beautiful" after I asked how he was feeling,  then typed "I am okay, I love holding you".

December 20: First time rolling over in bed and got the side rail down without help.

December 30: First time writing me a letter in speech therapy with help!

2009

January 19: First started using rolling walker in therapy!

February 16: First time riding in the car for the, first time speech therapist confirmed he was whispering!

March 24: First time "minimal voicing" was heard in therapy. 

March 30: First (of many) swallow studies.

March 31: First introduced to apple sauce and honey thick liquids in therapy. 

May 6: I first started talking "at" Aaron on the phone!

May 14: First ENT appointment, good news on Aaron's vocal cords!

June 1: First time Aaron picked up his own phone when I called!

June 13: First trip out of rehab to a nearby park! 

June 16: First year accident anniversary.

June 19: First trip to the movies with friends!

July 31: First started using rolling walker outside of therapy. 

August 29: First big social event with friends!

September 12: First time coming home since accident!

November 21: First time going to church!

December 24: First time spending the night at home!

May 31: First trip to the beach!

July 3: First time out of rehab two nights in a row, first time on a (mini) vacation to see his parents in Sannibel!

August 11: First thin liquid trial, he got to have Diet Coke for the first time since before the accident!


September 25: First concert!

2011

January 22: First time Aaron was caught getting in and out of bed on own, rails up or down!

March 7: First started trials of mechanical soft foods.

June 16: First time time eating regular food! First trip to Disney!

June 22: Went to Trauma Awareness Day at LRMC and met some of the staff for the first time!

October 23: Aaron's first time flying and first trip to Ohio since the accident!

December 31: First time swimming in the pool!

February 4: First time "driving"!

June 16: First time eating at Hooters since the accident and first Rays Game!!!

July 4: First time at a water park!