It is hard to believe that this year is about to come to an end. I can not imagine any year ever being able to top this one. There is a quote I love that says "Faith is trusting advance what will only make sense in reverse" and that is so true in my case. Especially this year. Just like anyone else our years have been filled with hills and valleys.
Nine years have passed since Aaron's accident, in some ways it still seems like it was just yesterday. The hardest days are behind us and Aaron has come a long way since then, so have I. There were many valleys I wasn't sure we could ever get through. I couldn't admit it then. There are times that I truly did not understand what God was doing. I questioned Him, His plan. His timing was probably the hardest but in the end I see how it has been perfect. Along the way I had to learn to have faith that He did have a plan and that it was not mine. It took awhile to trust Him. I had to work really hard to stay positive and hope for things that no one thought was possible while living everyday life with so many unknowns and ups and downs.
Many days I never had a chance to stop to take a breath. I couldn't even if I tried for a long time. I wouldn't let Aaron stop and I kept pushing him to levels I hoped he was capable of, not even knowing if he truly was. I felt many friends grew distant in the beginning. We made several new friends throughout. We found our village. We both did what others said they couldn't or shouldn't have been possible. He surprised so many with what He was able to help both Aaron and me accomplish. Life went on. Sometimes I struggled to keep up, sometimes I felt left behind. Many times I felt that I did not fit in. Anywhere. There are moments and days that these feelings lingered and it's hard to describe the feelings I had. It didn't help that there were not many others in our village who I felt could truly relate to our unique set of circumstances, not because they didn't care or didn't want to but because they weren't living in our shoes. The valleys and hills sometimes felt like we were on a roller coaster.
We have had our share of joy and excitement too. It was the little things like Aaron's eyes opening or him answering his own phone. Can you believe there were staff who would willingly help Aaron answer the phone each evening for months just so I could talk at him, yes you read that correctly, I talked at him and he had no choice but to listen! Just thinking about this memory makes me giggle. Then the big things happened. Aaron walked. Aaron talked. Aaron ate, those of you who know this story well know that was a battle I fought long and hard for and it was so worth each and every hot wing and Miller Light since! Aaron even moved home after almost 6 years. I was able to finish my Master's and graduate. I was able to live on my own but be married and navigate all of the crazy until I was confident that Aaron could help me make decisions and encourage me and let me know that I was doing a good job. These valleys helped me stay hopeful and gave me a chance to rest my heart.
So many of you have joined our story on the chapter where Whitley was born and have been following our story closely every since, talk about joy and excitement and one of my favorite chapters! She has been our biggest hill, several prayers answered, and a dream come true. Included in this part of our story is her first momma who knew about our valleys and she loved us anyhow and also had faith that we would be the best parents for Whitley.
Every bit of the past nine years have been nothing short of a miracle and the majority of it I was told wouldn't happen. Many times I found myself discouraged, many times I pressed forward with determination that I found somewhere deep inside myself. Our hills have been pretty amazing, our valleys have been pretty hard. I know God has been there every step of the way.
As much as I would have loved to live my life without so many of the valleys, I wouldn't have wanted to miss out on the hills...each and every one of those valleys eventually led us to those hills and we couldn't have one without the other. I know that now.
I couldn't imagine a better story, it took me a little while to realize it but God has written mine beautifully. I am so thankful for these two, the hills and valleys have led me to them <3
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Photo credit goes to Beth Carter Photography
