gRoWiNg PaInS

     There was a period over the past (almost) eight years that it seemed that things were constantly changing and we were constantly experiencing growing pains. 

    The huge transition from the ICU to the rehab was just the beginning of our growing pains. At that point, I knew the machines and I knew when Aaron was "good". I trusted the staff. I knew my way around the hospital. I was devastated, yet relieved, to know that we had literally survived and the next steps we were about to take were in the most positive direction anyone could have ever imagined. I don't even know if I can consider this a growing pain, I'll just be honest (and probably only a few people until now know) this was a hard transition for me and I had a major melt down before, during, and after the big move.

   The growing pains continued as Aaron settled in to the next part of our journey almost an hour away from home. The new room felt sterile and somewhat reminded me of the hospital and we inherited a roommate, which I was less than thrilled about. Before I knew it we were upgraded to a single room with Tommy Hilfiger furniture and we felt like we had entered the Hilton in a different building and not long after that we were moved to a similar room uptown. Aaron continued to do well and I adjusted, there was the consistency of the staff we had grown to love and appreciate. The therapists who we bonded with and to this day are still some of my favorites! I could count on them and trust them to do what was best for Aaron, even if I wasn't there. After about two years Aaron continued to do well and we started having conversations about Aaron's continued care, after all he was surpassing what the rehab was supposed to do for him. The thought of leaving terrified me and it didn't help when we felt some push back from the rehab and their long term plan didn't so much match ours...more growing pains, to say the least. 

   Our next stop was somewhere local. I could literally drive there for a visit after work and be home by dinner. I was excited about this transition but then came the reality of a new building, a new room, a new staff. There was also a level of independence that Aaron had not yet been allowed to have and that was a huge growing pain in itself! It should have been a good thing but not only was it a transition for him but for me as well I also had to build new relationships and learn to trust new staff members. There were a few hiccups the first night and the second day but I was learning to speak up and I was getting good at advocating for Aaron. Again, we adjusted and settled in as we had done before. Some of my most memorable growing pains were some changes in therapists, several room moves due to remodeling, and some staff members that didn't quite see it our way. 

   Moving Aaron home was easy and exciting and it seemed pretty painless actually. It did change everything all over again and I pretty much felt I had home under control so I never really anticipated any growing pains once we got here. In fact, the transition has been pretty easy and we have adapted well over the past two years with little to no growing pains, at least not like the ones I fondly remember from early on. 

    This week that I realized that we still will have some growing pains. I saw this quote and it it put our growing pains into perspective today (and all the ones over the past almost eight years). 

    As much as I am struggling right now with some growing pains and how much I have struggled with the previous ones, how lucky (and blessed) are we to have the ability to grow?! 

For us, growing pains also mean that Aaron is still getting better <3