tWiCe LoVeD

I can't imagine our story if it had been written any different. I feel like adoption is a leap of faith for both the adoptive parents and the birth parents alike. A birth mommas love is a love like no other, it is a kind of love that I can only imagine as an adoptive parent. 

Even though we have only know Whitley's birth momma for a short time, we absolutely adore her. She is one of the strongest people we have ever met. We cherish each and every conversation with her and we will always have the sweet memories of the short time all four of us spent together in Arizona. It is hard for me to find adequate words to honor her like she deserves. I feel very protective of her, through adoption she has become as much a part of our family as Whitley has. 

I am so thankful that her path has crossed ours and together we can both love sweet Whitley. Adoption can be so hard but in the same breath adoption can be the most beautiful kind of love there is. The most important part of Whitley's story is what a lucky girl she is to have two families that love her fiercely, Whitley has been twice loved from the beginning and she will always be <3 

WhItLeY wAtCh

We were just being lazy and hanging out at the house with take out on Friday February 10th when we got a text around 8pm from M at the agency telling us that Momma K had gone to the hospital and may be in labor. She told us to hang tight and stay near the phone and wait to hear back. She also told us we may want to check airlines for tickets in the meantime!

We spent those next few hours packing, packing, packing...we hadn't packed yet. We thought we had a few more weeks! We also spent a lot of time on the phone with the airlines arranging tickets, thankfully we had already called them weeks prior and had learned the ins and outs of arranging flights under these circumstances so we knew exactly what to schedule. The few people that talked with us during those few hours can tell you how crazy exciting that time was!

Within a few hours M was able to let us know that Momma K was not actually in labor and the hospital was getting ready to discharge her. She also let us know that both momma and baby were doing well. It was a false alarm.

Even though that night was a bit nerve-wracking, it ended up being just what we needed to be ready for the real call! It allowed us to finish getting ready and organized to go out to Arizona. We spent the new few weeks making sure we were packed and made the list of things that would need to be packed last minute. I made several drafts of emails at work, things I knew I would need others to know or have help with while I was out. We made several plans for how we would get to the airport when the time came. I even cleaned the house and did all the laundry that needed catching up! 

Whitley watch officially begun that Friday, we were excited beyond belief! Those last few weeks ended up being such a fun time prepare our hearts and home for a sweet baby but also to enjoy the remainder of our time as two <3

Our last Disney trip as two the weekend before Whitley was born!

WaItInG fOr WhItLeY!

The wait is hard. Depending on how you look at it you could say we waited for 10 years, 3 years, or 3 months. We were matched on December 4th and that was also the official day our wait for Whitley began.

When we signed up with our consultants we had read about several families who were matched with a baby who was already born and they were traveling right away. I thought this would be the ideal situation and prayed it would happen to us. Who likes to wait anyhow?! Lord knows I am not very good at waiting and we had also been waiting a long time already. 

Advice from friends who have adopted (as well as having a failed match less than a year ago), was not to buy or do too much ahead of time because the biological parents always has the right to chose to parent after the baby is born. Remembering with M had told us we really did try to get excited but we still spent most of our time waiting window shopping for Whitley. We did buy a few items, including a Vera Bradley diaper bag that was on my must have list! We made Pinterest boards to "decorate" her new room when she came home. We made a list of girl names we loved. We started a registry. We went to Disney. We spent time with friends. We also gathered some of momma K's favorite treats to make her a bag for her hospital stay. 

We have learned several times over the past few years that God always has bigger and better plans for us. Our wait allowed the opportunity for us to get to know Whitley's first momma, to love her big and well and pray for her as our consultants encouraged us to do. We were able to talk about all kinds of things, things we will be able to share with Whitley when she is older. We answered questions. We talked about our pasts and our future plans and goals. We talked about how Whitley would be raised. We chose her name. We encouraged each other. We laughed. We talked about hair. We shared our favorites. We shared pictures.

We know we were lucky because our official wait for Whitely was not that long. If we had not had to wait those few months, we would have missed out on getting to know Whitley's first momma. We can't imagine our journey any other way, we love our story and we love Whitley's story even more. 

Aaron trying out the new diaper bag!

MaTcHeD!

    Those of you who have ever know anyone who has adopted or have adopted yourself world know that being matched is one of the most exciting parts of the journey, especially since it is typically the finale after the mounds of paperwork and red tape! It also means that there is an actual baby that will most likely be joining your family in the near future. Matches can happen fast (in our case less than a month) or they can take years. Matches also can depend on whether you use an agency or self match or even which preferences your family has.

    We had spent the summer updating adoption paperwork and also decided to consult (and later sign a contract) with a Christian adoption consultant that had been recommended to us (not once but twice on two different occasions by sweet friends)! This time was the right time. We worked hard to complete all of our paperwork, update our profile book, have a friend help us make a PDF file of our profile, and we completed a new home study. We were able to finish everything up and sent it all in right before Thanksgiving break.

   On Friday, December 2nd we got an email from our consultants asking us to read over a case they thought we should consider. They wanted us to let them know if we would like our profile presented to the expectant momma asap. We looked it over and without much hesitation Aaron and I quickly sent them back our "yes", little did we know that would be just the beginning of our journey to meeting Whitley and becoming her parents. When we said yes, we also knew a few pieces of important information, including the baby was a girl that was due on March 7th. We also knew her expectant momma was in Arizona.

     On Sunday, December 4th my cell phone rang about 8:30pm with a Georgia number. I usually don't answer random numbers, especially that late on a Sunday but I was glad I did because it was our consultant calling us. I remember hearing the excitement in C's voice as she told us that momma K had chosen us and we were officially matched!

Dreaming of Whitley!

    Over the next few days, we connected with the agency and K's case manager in Arizona. M knew of our failed match in the spring and was very encouraging and literally told us that we needed to get excited. She spelled it out for us, this was our last trimester and we were having a baby in March! Ahhhhhhh! We took her advice but remained cautious and ended up keeping the good news under wraps until after the holidays. M continued to explain the process and led us through the next steps.

    By the second week in December M had set up a conference call with our expectant momma K. We were super excited and equally as nervous but the call went well! Later that week we were able to exchange phone numbers and Aaron and I began to text with K and we would continue to text through the rest of her pregnancy with Whitley.

Our dream come true!

Beauty is in the EYE of the beholder

Last week Aaron had his first eye appointment in a few years, don't judge. His eyes are the one thing I know are healthy other than the small prescription for reading glasses that he acquired even before the accident. Which brings us to the important part of this story. It was definitely time for new glasses. 

Those of you who know me well know that it takes hours for me to even narrow down my choices when it comes to the little things like shoes. But we are talking frames and for someone else! It didn't help that men's choices all pretty much look the same to me. Total disaster. The staff was very helpful. The lady helping us even put up with us pulling pair after pair off the shelf. 

Aaron sat there with a smile and was agreeable to pretty much any pair we gave him. So after 15-20 minutes of trying on frames I was over it and we had been at the doctor for over an hour. I was ready to leave. Aaron agreed to a pair that was a little different than his last ones, okay a lot different but we both thought the frames themselves looked pretty cool and were pretty bend-able when we were looking at them as we held them. The lady helping us seemed to like them too, I was over it, and Aaron said ok. So we were done right?!

I had a sudden lapse in my judgment and wasn't sure if we should commit so I texted a picture of Aaron in these frames to one person who will remain anonymous and who I also knew would give an honest answer but I got no answer (at least not as quick of one as I wanted). So I texted person number two, who will also remain anonymous, and still no answer. By the time I texted the third person (again anonymous), the second person texted back pretty much telling me they didn't like them in a nice way. Then I got a text from person number one saying "Ummmm did you buy those?" and then the third person chimed in with "What are the other options?" 

I knew we were in trouble and as the sweet lady helping us was starting to enter the information in the computer until I told her we needed to start over! She kinda looked at me funny but told us it was not a problem. I literally laughed out loud because I never would have guessed out of our three people, that they all would have gave thumbs down to the first choice. Thankfully they did though because I had obviously failed my one and only important job of the day and they were able to save Aaron two years of ugly frames. 

After choosing some options that seemed do-able we got a little silly. The lady helping us joined in and there were also a few requests from one of the people we were texting who still will remain anonymous. We also got a little mixed up with all of the pictures of the choices we were texting so Aaron had to start holding up fingers with numbers to identify each choice. We emptied off over half of the shelves for the second time that visit. After almost an hour of trying on frames, 25 texts, and at least 15 pictures we finally found a pair that everyone could agree on. See the evidence below in no particular order. 

Maybe...

Maybe not?

Definitely not...but they were a blast from the past and a special request by one of the people we were texting!

Now the staff is helping us have some fun and brought us these, Harry Potter anyone?

Not so much!

Here is the part where we were losing track of the ones we had tried and took pictures of so we started having Aaron hold fingers up too! 

Option 3!

 

We are getting warmer!

Here's my public service announcement...I don't plan on revealing the first choice (the ones that I thought were okay) and you may be smart enough to figure out which choice we actually ordered. I don't need opinions from anyone for any reason, we have already ordered frames that should be here in about a week and we can't change our minds for at least another two years! This is just a glimpse into some of our everyday craziness and we thought you might enjoy a good laugh with us!

They say "beauty is in the eye of the beholder", unless you are me and Aaron trying to pick out new frames for him and then we probably need a few other opinions!

pReSsINg fOrWaRd...EIGHT yEaRs lATeR!

And just like that, here we are EIGHT years later!

I have spent that past week looking through old pictures. I even found some of the first things I journaled right after Aaron's accident, long before blogging was even popular.  I am in awe. Believe it or not, I am speechless by the story they tell, the one I so vaguely remember, and all of the many details that have since faded into memories. I often forget is that Aaron's only real memories are from the stories he's heard or pictures he has seen, at least during the first few years. 

Even though I do it on a somewhat regular basis, June 16th will always be the day that I remember that we are not where we once were. I am thankful that we didn't go where the doctors and nurses thought we might go and that God had a much better plan. We are also blessed with second chances and many miracles over the past eight years; Aaron's ability to relearn and his body to heal, the family and friends who have loved us through this and continue to do so, friends and acquaintances who have become our village and do life with us, the doctors and specialists and therapists who all have helped Aaron get better in big and small ways, the many prayers that have been answered, and our ability to find joy in this journey.

It's not always easy and even though we still face a few obstacles here and there, we are always excited to see what the next year brings as we keep pressing forward!