tHaNkFuL

      Each November I see the random posts of things to be thankful start on Facebook, except I usually see it too many days into it to remember to actually do it myself! This year I saw a friend's post the very first day of November so I decided to give it a try this year too. While most of the things I posted were silly little things, I happened to run across this quote and it seemed to go with the thankfulness theme and be a bit of inspiration for a new addition to my blog. 

"The thankful heart opens our eyes to a multitude of blessings that continually surround us." -James E. Faust

     Even thought Aaron is 100% a part of all this, I am writing strictly about how/what I feel and know. As he gets better and you have conversations with both of us you will see how our experiences, feelings, and memories are completely different throughout the past five and a half years. Just like he has, I have had my own battles. Even though Aaron was living and breathing and even listening he hasn't always had the capacity to help me deal with some of the tough stuff and there have been times he has I have opted to keep him out of it just for the sake of giving him a few less worries. Let me elaborate by saying that if you know Aaron well, sitting around worrying about others is something he does well and since he was doing a lot of sitting at one point I did not want to burden him with anything else with so much on his plate, leaving his main focus on getting better. 

    That last two years were a few of my toughest, I have tried to write about it many times but I just could never get it "right" so this is yet another attempt that I may end up deleting before I finish...

    One of the main struggles I have had is that I once felt the need to be "normal" (maybe "average" is a better word to use) as long as I can remember. It's not that I didn't appreciate what I had/have, because I did/do, I just wanted so much to be like everyone else…boring I know! As I get older and more experienced in life, that does seem pretty silly but that is how I felt for a long time. Just when I started feeling that I was accomplishing those "normal" things, which included; graduating from college, moving to Florida/entering into the teaching profession (that was a fiasco as well), getting engaged/married, and purchasing our first house…it all went from wonderfully normal to completely confusing and crazy within two to three days after Aaron's accident. Things haven't been the same since then but I finally starting to be able to accept how things are and the blessings that come with this "normal"! 

     Even though I know that good relationships take a lot of give and take, a lot of patience, a lot of forgiving, and a lot of accepting yet I have struggled with many relationships since the accident. I know that good, healthy relationships take work during normal circumstances but throw in a catastrophic accident and all hell seemed to break loose! I have continued to struggle with this and honestly still do.  I usually blame myself, maybe because it's easier. I have had struggles with both family and friends some known and some unsaid. I have purposefully shut people out to avoid hurt (sometimes on my end, sometimes on theirs), I have given up on some relationships because they were too hard or I felt they just weren't going to work no matter how hard I tried. I have also avoided relationships simply because I didn't know how to make them work. I used to dread meeting new people because they might not understand or might judge our situation or just feel sorry for us. I hated seeing old friends at times because things were not they way they used to be. I have been challenging myself to do better in both these areas. It's still a work in progress and I am not perfect and as you can see it's all just plain confusing.  

    No matter how I look at things or how I feel, I know we are continually surrounded by blessings big and small and my heart is thankful no matter how different things are than how I thought they were supposed to be. At the end of the yucky days and tough years…I  am ThAnKfUl because I know God's plan is better than any plan I had for myself and Aaron. 



   
   

tOuGh CoNvErSaTiOnS

       I have had to endure more than my fair share of tough conversations over the past five years...some good, some bad, and some just plain ugly. I am learning to let go of the ones that are over or at least look back and laugh at them. I am learning to to move forward with some, replacing my once rehearsed generic answers with something more heartfelt and honest. 

    Out of all the crazy and difficult conversations I had in regards to Aaron's condition, I  had never realized that my toughest ones would be the ones that I actually had with Aaron. These didn't come early and they surely didn't come all at once. It was probably the past year or two when he started getting better and started sorting things out and becoming himself again that he started asking more questions and was able to look at the big picture in front of him. 

    One of the reasons I am able to stick right by him "in sickness and for worse" is that he is appreciative of all I do. Honestly, I can't think of a time where he wasn't (even before the accident). He thanks me for "putting up with him", doing the laundry, taking him out, bring him chicken nuggets, calling him, helping him in the bathroom….this list could go on. 

      Through many conversations, he blames himself (another typical Aaron-ism even before the accident). We have been over and over the what's and the why's of what we know about the accident and I can't convince him otherwise. It's hard to see him blame himself for something that was an unfortunate accident beyond our realm of understanding. 

      I think the first time I heard him thank me for putting up with him my heart almost broke. As any other couple I know, we didn't  quite see eye to eye on this subject and it made me sad because I wanted him to see it my way this time. I didn't want him to feel that he was a burden, because that's the direction the conversation soon took but it was he who insisted he was. We have never really settled our disagreement and he still argues his side and I still defend mine. 

     Tough conversations are just another part of this crazy journey we are on. I must admit, if I have to have them with anyone, I couldn't think of anyone better to have them then with Aaron! I am also thankful to be done with the ones with the doctors! 

    

jUsT bEcAuSe

      A little over a month ago, I got a flood of texts from family members asking what they could get Aaron for his birthday. As usual I didn't have a good answer and he certainly hadn't asked for anything and surely didn't need anything that I could think of.

      While taking to his mom and racking my brain for just ONE idea, I finally suggested sending something fun to him on his special day that he could show off like balloons!

       If I have the story right the local florist delivered Aaron's birthday balloons as scheduled. I can only assume they actually took them to Aaron's room and met him as they finished their delivery because later that evening they called Aaron's mom in Indiana to ask a few questions. It turns out that they wanted permission to send Aaron a little something each month to "brighten his day".

     A month went by quickly, I actually had forgotten about their call after the last balloon had deflated and they were finally in the trash. Then one evening, when I arrived for a visit, the ladies at the front desk asked me about the flowers Aaron had received earlier that day. I was perplexed for a moment until I remembered my mother in law's recent conversation with the florist.

     I reached for the card as soon as I entered the room and sure enough the florist was sending something to "brighten" Aaron's day as promised! If anyone needs a good recommendation for a florist in Winter Haven boy do I have one for you!

SoMe Of ThE nOt FuN sTuFf

       After a few weeks in the ICU one of the nurses noticed this weird movement that would run down Aaron's shoulder, through his arm, and down to his hand. It was just on the one side. It wasn't long before they were able to give it the name of mycloclonic seizures. One of Aaron's neurologists worked hard to finally find two therapeutic doses of medication that would control the seizures, which we also found out were common with brain injuries.
   
      Once we moved out of the ICU to Wauchula…somehow, somewhere one of Aaron's doctors felt we should be able to take Aaron off one of the two medications to control seizures. (This was a good thing as the one medicine they discontinued wasn't supposed to be used for long term.) Aaron had no problems after going to one medication and every time they examined him and did any testing there seemed to be no more signs of the seizures we had seen in the ICU. We were elated! 


       Fast forward to the facility in Winter Haven almost two years later…what do you know I go out of town for one of the first times since the accident for fun and Aaron has a full blown seizure. This was something we had not ever experienced and truthfully, I thought we were way beyond this point in his recovery so it was pretty stressful. (Especially since seizures can cause falls and with a brain injury, another fall could be devastating for Aaron.) I had left about 10 hours earlier when I got the call. There was a lot of drama surrounding the first seizure and trip to the hospital but thankfully my school secretary was available to go and sit with Aaron at the emergency room to all hours of the night. Did I mentioned that the hospital wouldn't tell me anything because of HIPPA and Aaron was not good on the phone at that point?! 

       From that day on, Aaron has continued to have what our current neurologist has diagnosed as "breakthrough" seizures. I had some of my own theories but since I haven't been able to prove them 100% I will keep quiet, anyone who has ever been a caretaker or parent can probably relate! It seems as if when Aaron gets a mild infection it can easily cause full blown seizures, the infections that would leave those of us who are healthy miserable and might cause us to miss a day of work. Again, it is something that comes along with a brain injury and is unfortunately unpredictable.

      Aaron has had several seizures over the past three years and they never get easier. After each one I go back to worrying and as time goes on, I almost forget to worry about them just in time for another one to sneak up on us. He doesn't seem to remember them, which I guess is a good thing. He has fallen during one. I have witnessed one myself. He has also been sent to the hospital on more than one occasion due to a seizure. 

       Last fall, we were having way more "stay-cations" at the local hospital than either of us would prefer.Throughout this past few years we have learned that due to strong infections, the quick fix for Aaron is to have a strong dose of IV antibiotics which are usually started in the hospital. When they feel Aaron is improving then they are able to send him back to the rehab where they have the ability to monitor the infections closely and continue the antibiotics. Aaron was in the emergency room and then admitted twice in two month time period. There were other complications that made it a little more stressful and anyone who has sat in an emergency room knows how much fun that is. 

     Aaron's neurologist was able to recommend a newer medicine shortly after the last trip to the hospital to go along with what he was already taking. Fortunately it was the perfect match because as of 11/16/13, we have been seizure free for an entire year!!!!!!!!! This also means we don't have to go to the neurologist as often, we have been upgraded to every six months and the last check up we literally spent five minutes with our doctor (who is awesome by the way)! While I hope we stay seizure free, there is always the possibility that Aaron could have another but I will take ONE YEAR without a seizure as a HUGE accomplishment! 

    Here are a few pictures documenting our first hospital 
stay-cation last fall. He was much sicker during the second trip so there were no pictures from then. 

Aaron kept asking for shorts,  I'll be the first to tell you that he is NOT a good patient to have lol! 

Sweet friends from small group brought milk shakes and french fries to Aaron to make him feel better! 

tOo MaNy CoOkS iN oUr KiTcHeN???

     For those of us who know us well, you know that Aaron and I were not very good cooks before his accident. Aaron could do Chili's, I am not talking about the soup, and I could do a nice big bowl of cereal any night of the week. The few times I actually remember cooking and enjoying a real meal at home together after we were married was our first Thanksgiving in Florida in 2007 and I thought you would enjoy the pictures documenting this once in a lifetime event, see below! 

Frying our first turkey, Thanksgiving in Florida 2007!

I honestly think this was the first and last time we actually sat at this table to eat dinner together!

    As I was saying, we are not top chefs! Even now, with our craziness, not much has changed. I never thought I would consider McDonald's one of the main food groups and I still love my bowl of cereal no matter what time of day it is! 

   We were just hanging out at the house tonight. I was wanting something sweet and Aaron was bored, pretty typical for the two of us lol! I had recently been to Walmart and got sucked into the fall aisle. I ended up leaving with a bag of orange and black chocolate chips along with other unnecessary fall themed items. 

   I decide to make cookies. Who better to assist me than the person who was complaining they were bored (well at least until he realized that the Ohio State game was on)?! I also thought this would be good therapy... I am pretty sure there are many days that Aaron probably wishes over and over that he hadn't married an elementary teacher! So here are just a few shots of Aaron actually cooking in our kitchen but don't worry I was supervising, I mean helping!

Adding the ingredients!

Mixing them up!

One of the best parts, licking the beater!

Team work...getting the dough ready for the pan!

Almost ready for the oven!

Mmmmmmmm!!!

     For those of you who might get some cookies, please note that Aaron DID wash his hands before, during, and after cooking! Who knew cooking at home could be so much fun!? Maybe next time we should try making dinner! 

   

LaSt LaUgH!

    One of the blessings is that we can pretty much find humor in anything these days...even sneaking into the women's bathroom together where there's no other bathroom for me to go in and help him! 
    Here are just a few things that have been said or have happened recently that have made for a good laugh! If you knew Aaron before the accident you know that he had a great sense of humor and he was very sarcastic! 

Me: (pulling into the rehab to take Aaron back one evening)
Aaron: Home Sweet Home!

Me: (sneezing)
Aaron: I think you are allergic to me

Me: (driving in a questionable neighborhood, car zooms down the road at our intersection) Drive it like you stold it!
Aaron: If you live around here you probably did!

Me: Dancing in the car. 
Aaron: That's all you got?

Me: (parked in the "doctor" spot at the rehab on the weekends)
Aaron: Dr. Royer 

wHeRe Do YoU sEe YoUrSeLf In FiVe YeArs?!

FIVE years later!!!

    Recently I had a conversation with one of Aaron's college friends and we were talking about how long ago the accident was. He was telling us about recent job interviews he had and how they seemed to ask this popular question, "Where do you see yourself in FiVe years?" Think about it for a minute.....it's not an easy question is it?!

    I know that if you had asked us this question just a few days prior to June 16, 2008 you would have gotten a completely different answer. Even just days after June 16, 2008 I could have never imagined telling you that we'd be where we are today. FiVe years seems like such a long time ago, then again it has seemed to go by so quickly! 

    Lucky for us God had this because we sure couldn't have done this without Him and I don't think I always give Him the credit He deserves! At first we had doctors telling us that the first year was where we would see the most progress, then we heard the first two years, then somewhere along the way it became the first FiVe. I am pretty sure that since then we have heard the word indefinitely used to measure the timeline for progress that Aaron could make. Well folks, we've hit FiVE (and are still seeing improvements) and feel blessed with every single second, minute, day, and year! 

     I asked my favorite photographer, Beth Carter, if she would help me get some new pictures to share for this blog. Lakeland Regional Medical Center staff were the ones who saved Aaron's life and I couldn't think of a better place than where it all started. On a side note, we have been invited to LRMC Trauma Awareness Day each year, one of the gifts Aaron received was a t-shirt that I thought would be appropriate for this photo shoot! (Check out the close up in the pictures that follow!) 

In front of Lakeland Regional Medical Center.

I can not tell you how often I go through our pictures from 2008 to present day and see what an amazing story they tell. Each picture, along with each year, reminds me that we have both survived through this craziness annnnnnnd Aaron has gotten just a little closer to being that same old Aaron we all know and adore! 

Sporting his LRMC Trauma Survivor Shirt!

   
    In FiVe years we have come a LONG way and I think Aaron would agree on these FiVe things...


OnE: Our lives haven't been easy (or where we thought we'd be) the past five years but we have learned a lot along the way. 

TwO: We are thankful for all of the progress Aaron has made that no one could guarantee that we would see. 

ThReE: We share our life with so many wonderful people that have helped us in big and small ways and shared our lives in good times and bad! 

FoUr: Anything is possible! 

FiVe: God is good ALL the time!

The fountain in front of LRMC where we took family pictures while Aaron was in the hospital! 

   

    I recently found a quote from Sonia Ricotti and I thought it was the perfect way to share my answer for the question I asked in the beginning of this entry. In five years, I hope to be able to continue to "Surrender to what is. Let go of what was. Have faith in what will be." 

    I can't wait to share what the next five years has in store for us! Where do you see YOURSELF in five years? 

All pictures are courtesy of Beth Carter Photography  at http://www.bethcarterphotography.com

cHeErS!

    This all started back at my staff Christmas party in '08, just a few months after Aaron's accident had happened. This was during the time where Aaron was not able to travel outside of his rehab facility. I reluctantly went, although I really wanted to go, I knew it wouldn't be the same without Aaron.

   I'm not sure exactly how it happened, if I remember right, I was drinking a beer before dinner and it was sitting on the table (almost empty) in front of me. That's about the time when my co-worker's husband, Jerry, came up to me with a smile on his face and a fresh cold beer in his hand! 

    Little did I know, that this was only the beginning of him taking care of me at our many social gatherings. From that night on, Jerry always made sure I was taken care of...with a smile and a cold drink! 

   Last week we went out for one last drink before we all started our summer vacation and went our separate ways. I had gotten there late and had ordered a water. I was chatting with people on my side of the table, not even paying attention, when I turned around here came Jerry with a smile on his face and a cold drink in hand! 

   It's truly the little things that make this journey just a little bit easier...who knew how much a smile and a cold drink could make my day over and over and over again?! Thanks Jerry and Dee for always being so sweet and putting a smile on my face! 

tHe BeSt A mAn CaN gEt?!

There is an OLD Gillette shaving commercial..."Gillette, the best a man can get!" and it came to mind as I started brainstorming for this blog.

For some reason, I think Aaron would agree that I am NOT the best a man can get when it comes to shaving his face! Shaving a man's face is something that I never thought I'd do, shaving my own legs is bad enough!


Going back to our ICU days...it only took TWO nurses to shave Aaron! I remember laughing in the middle of our craziness as they both took on this task!

Sometime in Spring 2009...it was my turn to try and here is a picture before my first attempt at shaving a man's face!

Just a few years later...my cute little baby face. We cleaned him up good or maybe I messed it up, I can't remember! 

Practice makes perfect and I am becoming a pro at this shaving thing, I am a little better now that Aaron can actually help by telling me what to do!

oUr PaTh

I have seen this image on a few different Facebook pages recently and this topic has been on my heart for some time. 

I can not write this without admitting that I am 100% guilty of thinking I have understood someone else's journey at one time or another.

It's much easier to look at someone else's journey and think...I wouldn't do it "that" way. It's also easy to have those feelings..."if it were me then I'd...". But the truth is that if it's not you then you don't know and you really don't need to offer your thoughts and opinions unless solicited. (And even then, don't expect to like everything you will hear!) 

There are so many chapters to this journey that I often forget what I have shared, there are many more to write, and there are many being added. 

I referred to the tough stuff early on and it seems like each time I start to write about it, I chicken out. I do not want to incriminate anyone in particular and I try to beat around the bush at times.  Each part of our journey is important because there are the parts that have made us stronger, there are parts that have changed our path in big and small ways, there are the parts that have changed who we are, and there are the parts that have taught us things we will never forget. 

I have always worried what others thought, let's be honest. 

In the beginning of this journey I didn't have the capacity to care what anyone thought, I was pretty much in survival mode. It was kind of nice for once. Unfortunately this only lasted about 2-3 months, then we started to settle in to our new reality and began to understand what a brain injury was and some of the things that would become a part of our journey.

This all started with the questions regarding my marriage. Would I stay married to Aaron? Many people told me that they would understood if I walked away. Many people told me that Aaron would understand too, he wouldn't want me to live this life. I know the people closest to me said it out of love and concern and they were allowed a pass this time, I could hear it from them. It was the people who didn't really know me or Aaron who were speaking up on this topic that really upset me. These were people who did not know us or our relationship that were asking these questions during such a difficult time. It still happens, unfortunately, even as recent as last summer I still had a person who realized who I was ask if I was still married to Aaron.

It has also been a long and drawn out journey figuring out how to bring Aaron home for good. It's been on my to-do list for oh about five years now and it's still not obviously been crossed off. I remember talking about it in the ICU that first summer, I remember talking about it early in rehab. I remember people who knew a lot more than me about brain injuries looking at me with such doubt. We have come such a long way and I am still working on it. I am still determined to make it happen someday, somehow. We have come leaps and bounds! We started about three and a half years ago with day trips, soon after adding overnight trips. We tried two weeks home last summer with success. As of last month, we have been able to fly twice out of state to see family. We are headed in that direction but we are just not there...yet. I am still as determined as I started out to be to make it happen, it is still a work in progress but there are too many "what ifs" at the moment and some logistics to figure out. 

Here comes the next part...me and my journey as the wife and caregiver. I assure you that I am doing the best I can with what we have been given. It took me a long time and a lot of convincing from others that it's okay for me to have my time and do things for myself. (And Aaron tells me he is okay with this too now which makes me feel a million times better!) Early on I spent so much time taking care of Aaron, I was constantly reminded that I need to take care of me too! Someone we met at the very beginning of this journey and has become an important part of Aaron's and my life told me that any normal husband and wife need their time apart, it's healthy! The first big thing I did was to go on a short spring break trip to Vegas with a friend about two years after Aaron's accident. I can not begin to tell you how guilty I felt. I still feel guilty if I take a night (or two) off and do not go see Aaron. I feel guilty when I sit at home by myself on a Saturday morning just because I can be lazy for a few hours. I feel guilty if I visit Aaron for only 30 minutes because I had a long day at work and I haven't even been home yet. 

At the end of the day, Aaron and I have this crazy little journey of ours figured out for this moment. Although it may appear a certain way to you, it definitely looks a whole lot different from our perspective!  

Not everyone can understand your journey but hopefully the people most important to you will be there just willing to walk beside you! 

mY aMeRiCaN iDoL

Before Aaron's accident, I wouldn't say we were big TV watchers. We were too busy living life (and both going to grad school) to actually sit down on the couch and watch TV. On occasion I would sneak in an episode of the Bachelor when he had something else to do, I would catch him watching Big Bang Theory or How I Met Your Mother when I walked in from class. Of course ESPN was on first thing each morning and the TV was on for any major sporting event, especially if it involved Ohio State! 

There was a time where I 'd leave work by 4, drive an hour to see Aaron in Wauchula...somewhere between there I'd get take out for dinner and eat it in the car. I would get there by 6 and to make it worth the long trip I'd stay for at least a couple of hours. Most nights I would just crawl into bed with him when I got there. 

If you have ever been to Wauchula you know that the TV is the only thing we had to entertain ourselves at night. Aaron wasn't a fan of all of the crime shows and that was pretty much all that seemed to be on around 8-10pm in the evenings so we had to find something else to watch! 

This was the time when he was starting to whisper FINALLY, I was desperately trying to get him to talk and encouraging everyone who was visiting to do the same. I had become irritated trying to spell things from a print out of a computer keyboard, although Aaron was getting good at it! 

The therapists also told me to do things with him that he enjoyed before the accident. It would probably have been easier to stick with watching ESPN but I soon found out that American Idol was much more entertaining! 

We spent the rest of that season singing our hearts out, well I tried to sing and encouraged Aaron to join me! It became even more fun when the contestants performed "old" songs that Aaron began to mouth (and eventually sing) the words to. At this point we were still dealing with some major memory glitches as well so I was amazed at how much he remembered!

It wasn't long before we took American Idol on the road with us when we started being able to travel outside of the facility, I'd turn on some of our old favorites as loud as I could and sing along with Aaron! 

It's been almost five years of singing to the radio or American Idol together and it is still one of my favorite things to do with Aaron!

I couldn't think of a better ending to this blog than to share some of my personal favorite songs to hear Aaron sing: "Whoomp There is Is", "Fresh Prince of Belair" (theme song), "Baby Got Back", and my newest favorite..."Thrift Shop" lol! 

It'S tHe LiTtLe ThInGs

There are many times that I should be writing all of this down and I did in the beginning of this mess, as life goes more and more back to "normal" I just have THAT moment, I enjoy it, and then think that I will actually remember tell it to everyone later. 

Do you think that actually happens, NO! I am actually lucky if I can get it out to a few family members or a close friend or two! 

Well tonight I enjoyed a moment....

Let me warn you that everyone else (except me and also Jeremy Jones who may remember some of the conversations he shared with Aaron) may think this little thing may sound really silly. It may not mean much. To me it is a small reminder that even though our lives have been changed, Aaron hasn't. 

I will start by telling you about how Aaron's rehab is remodeling, in fact they have been remodeling for months. I can not wait until they finally finish! Aaron's room has moved more times than I want to count, the dining room is squeezed into the middle of the day room, and we are currently locked out of the outdoor area. However, one nice change is that they have added a nice little library (or bookstore as Aaron called it tonight). It is down the hall from Aaron's room, near the newest wing. It's an area not traveled too much by either Aaron or myself. I have passed it and it's a nice area, full of many different books, a fireplace, and a computer station. I have mentioned it to Aaron thinking he may take advantage of it but to my knowledge he hasn't shown much interest. 

Tonight I walk into Aaron's room and find this on his night stand...

Aaron's reading glasses (that he rarely wears but has had since before his accident happened) AND a book by one of Aaron's favorite authors. 

Talk about making your heart smile! Just a little thing to remind me that some things haven't changed. 

And while we are on the subject, here are a few other little things that I have to look forward to everyday:

1. 16 + phone calls from a certain someone just because he wants to talk to ME!

2. A request for a Diet Coke on my way over! 

3. A huge smile and "thank you" when I bring the laundry basket full of clean clothes with me! (And yes this could happen everyday!) 

4. One last call or text before bed to say "goodnight"!  

mAnS bEsT fRiEnD

I probably should have added this entry just a little sooner but my hands were a bit tied up with our new little four legged best friend! I had a chance to post some pictures and comments onto Facebook but here is a little more of the story about our newest addition!

Meet our adorable little 4 month (almost 5 months now) Schnoodle (Schnauzer/Poodle mix)...

I have talked to Aaron's therapists in depth and they all had agreed that a dog would be great for Aaron! I thought and thought for about aaaaaaaaa......yEaR! After looking at many different dogs and narrowing down my must have list...no shedding, small, etc. I was able to find the perfect one for us finally! Plus it helped that I emailed the woman on Friday night and she said I could see him Saturday morning, so no time for me to really debate! 

First thing was first, he NEEDED a bath! My poor dirty little dog, being white didn't help him! He didn't actually did not get a bath in the garden tub but I put him in here to contain him long enough for me to go get some doggie supplies!

Meeting Aaron...Aaron knew I was looking but he didn't know I actually had gone to get a dog! I didn't take him with me since I had to go to someones house and I didn't know what kind of situation I would be walking into. (I did take a friend however who was a huge help!) After eliminating a bunch of names and having Casper somewhere on our list (because he is white) we noticed Jasper on the list of dog names. It seemed cute, no one we know had a dog or kid named that so that's what we stuck with!

The family we got him from had been crate training him, another of my musts! Thankfully a friend was able to loan their crate to us (I have great friends if you haven't figured that out by now!) He wasn't too crazy about it at first but he's definitely settled in and we have gotten all the cozy accessories to make it "home"! He stays in the crate while I am at work and at night. He started in the kitchen but has been moved to the bedroom since he doesn't cry all night long!

He LOVES toys! Here is a picture of his first shopping trip to PetSmart! He wasn't very good at helping me decide but he sure did look cute in the shopping cart! Actually, I found out that a good old clean water bottle is more entertainment for him than any of the toys we have bought! 

He is getting better at staying in our yard but we are working on getting a fence put up so he can run free without me worrying about him or having to run after him! We tried to tie a line outside so he could stay a little longer unsupervised but all he does is bark...of course unless one of us is out there! 

Aaron LOVES him,  and that makes Jasper worth the trouble! I often catch Aaron whispering or muttering something I can't understand. When I tell him that I can hear him he glares at me and let's me know "I am talking to the dog!". He helps me feed him and take him out when he's home. He also plays with him!

I find myself laughing at a lot of the silly things Jasper does, I try to capture the ones Aaron misses when he is not at home in pictures! Although, Jasper and Aaron now FaceTime lol!

Having a dog definitely adds a best friend in the family and we are full of puppy love! I am not sure that I would willing agree to do this job again...it's a lot of work! He is good company when I am home and he is even allowed to visit Aaron with me! Jasper has been ours for almost two months already and we are finally getting this potty thing down, I thought I was gonna lose my mind if I had to clean up one more mess. We are also working on a few "tricks" including come, down, sit, speak, and the newest one is lay! 

cOuNtInG mY bLeSsInGs

So many times, I start a blog entry, only to save it and come back to it when it's no longer relevant or simply put it off until I forgot what I had wanted to write. Sometimes I simply chicken out! Since I have been sick this weekend and have been forcing myself to stay in bed most of the weekend, the computer has been my only entertainment!

I have been sitting in bed off and on since Friday, on a long weekend, since I haven't been feeling too well. My my mile long to-do was no match for my fever, I only could manage stopping at Walgreens on my way home from work Friday afternoon to get something to make me feel better!

After about a 24 hour nap and some over the counter medicine, I attempted to go to a event for school Saturday. I wanted to be responsible and show up for my scheduled shift and even though I was told to not come and then told to go home when I got there...I was certain that I was feeling better...besides, it was nice to be out of bed and out of the house for a bit too.

Since I felt so good and was enjoying a little bit of freedom, I thought that I could manage a quick trip up to Best Buy to drop Aaron's phone off to be fixed. It had been broken since Thursday and it's literally his lifeline to the outside world, I felt bad having waited this long to even get it checked out.

Little did I know, a quick trip would soon turn into almost two hours. I could feel my fever coming back and my body was aching but at that point, I had pretty much accomplished my mission so I waited patiently those last few minutes. I made a quick stop through the drive-thru for some pineapple ice cream and headed for home. I had barely left the parking lot when I felt the tears start to pour.

I wasn't upset because I was sick but was upset that I couldn't do all the things that needed to be done, even though they ALL could wait until later. I have to admit that I also was a little sad because one of the last times I had remembered being this sick, Aaron took good care of me and he couldn't do that this time around.

I found myself having a pity party, which is never pretty!

Somewhere between then and now (fever free I might add) I ran across a slide show of some pictures of Aaron's progress that I had started about a year ago. Of course I took those pictures and I have looked at them many times but it was like I was looking at them for the first time! I remembered all the smiles that were in them, all the good memories, all of the great people who are part or have been part of our lives these past few years.

It was that moment that no matter how crappy I was feeling, I remembered that I have many blessings to be counting today and everyday. Sometimes a little sick time in bed is just what the doctor ordered to get your happy feeling a little better!

And on another note, a friend sent me this picture on Saturday. Even though I was feeling like I was getting nothing done being sick in bed, I actually did accomplish two things from this to-do list while feeling under the weather...

1. eat ice cream
2. count my blessings

I started feeling better Sunday afternoon FINALLY and slowly started doing the real to-do list!