cHaNgInG dIrEcTiOnS

         After some time passed and we had more discussions, Aaron and I decided to forget the specialists but instead to change our direction. At that time we considering that maybe God had other plans and we needed to be open minded. 

      We first decided to consider becoming foster parents. Aaron's dad and step mom had been foster parents and were able to adopt two siblings after they were in their care so we thought that would be an option with looking at. I called our local agency and asked several questions, I shared our story and specifically went into details about Aaron's health because I knew that could be an issue. Aaron was also not at home permanently at this time so I knew that too was another potential obstacle. They were encouraging and said that they did not think there would be any problems with us being able to foster. We filled out some preliminary paperwork. The next step was attending an informational meeting, it was there that we realized that fostering just wasn't for us. We wanted a forever family and they kept stressing the importance of a temporary family. We wanted a baby or toddler and they needed homes for teenagers. It was okay though, we gave that option a fair chance and we made the best decision for us at that time.

       Adoption was another one of our options. I was fortunate to find others in the area who actually had adopted and we were able to get information from them. I have a long time friend who has adopted so I talked with her a lot. We also called around to some of the well known agencies in our area and were connected to an adoption lawyer through a friend's church. We soon found out that there were some obstacles, other than the expense that we were quoted as a minimum of $20,000 by most sources. The other main obstacle we faced is that all of the agencies required two "healthy" parents, and we were not sure Aaron would be considered as that? Plus a birth family had to actually pick us, would Aaron's disabilities prevent them from wanting us to raise their child? 

   
     As a result of the all of the above, sometime in the spring of 2012 we went back to the fertility doctor, we hadn't been there for close to a year. The doctor was very welcoming and discussed the alternatives he and the urologist had come up with. He was confident that one of those options would help us achieve our goal of starting our very own family. He seemed so certain that we shouldn't give up and was very optimistic that we could be ready to start a family within a year. We walked out of that appointment so torn. I think I was hoping for bad news, news that would force me to accept once and for all that we would never have children of our own. 

      In order to pursue any of the options that the doctor recommended, I first had to go through two tests. The one was just a regular appointment but I had to miss work. The second one was more intense, I needed a driver and it required light anesthetic (which I had never had ever in my life). Fortunatley, I was able to schedule the second once once school was out for summer and I found a sweet friend to take me and bring me home and also who I felt comfortable sharing what was going on.