Letting Go

     I realized I haven't written in awhile, truth is I am often thinking of what I could write and it's just a matter of sitting down long enough to do it. The idea for this one came to me at the end of December after a trip to Disney with friends, since then two other events happened and they seemed to somewhat go along with the original idea I had wanted to write about.

Part 1: 

    Over the holiday's, Aaron's best college friend was in town and invited us to join him and his family at Animal Kingdom the following day. If you have never been to Animal Kingdom it's a fun place to visit and as usual Disney goes all out, including the authentic jungle terrain that includes imprints of animal tracks, a variety of vegetation on the sidewalk, and lots of slopes and hills. If you have a walker it feels like an obstacle course with booby traps, it is also quite the work out for whomever is helping. Without too much thought, I decided to dust off the custom built wheelchair that's been sitting in the same corner in our garage for three plus years and take it too to make our trip easier and more enjoyable for the both of us. It made me realize that taking the wheelchair is not a big deal, it is actually helpful and much less exhausting for the both of us. We were both happy campers leaving Disney that day and I was reminded that we have the wheelchair for a reason and it's not a bad one. Using the wheelchair doesn't change the what Aaron can do. The past few years I have been so set on "pushing" Aaron that I forgot how much easier it was to literally push him in that wheelchair for a few hours. 

Happy pusher!

Happy Rider!

    

Part 2:

    The next two things I am about to share don't have pictures to go with them but I am sure you will agree that even if I did they may not be appropriate for social media! I tend to rely on staff to help with Aaron, I rarely use family and friends. If you know me, you know if I leave you with Aaron it is usually because I am desperate and have no other options. 

     A friend from work had convinced me to sign up for a local boot camp, Aaron's mom happened to be visiting for a few weeks in January so it was the perfect opportunity for me to take advantage of the extra help and go at 7am on a Saturday morning. I was finishing up that first morning and had been away from the house less than an hour and a half when Aaron FaceTimed me and is laughing. All I could make out was that they "had made a mess". I rushed home thinking it was the stupid dog, oh how I wish that would have been the case. Out of no where, there are usually warning signs, Aaron needed to use the bathroom while I was gone. Not knowing that it may have been coming, I neglected to give his mom the bathroom 101 course. So two things happened here. The first thing was that someone other than myself or trained staff needed to help Aaron, granted I know it was his mom it was still something I had tried to avoid for his dignity (And from what I gather, when there was no other choice, it wasn't as big of deal to Aaron as it was me.) Second Aaron clogged the toilet, his mom tried to flush it, then it overflowed. This situation drenched our master bath in, well, you know!!! I will leave it there but you can imagine the mess, it's the kind that you don't know whether to laugh or cry. I think Aaron covered the laughing and his mom may have covered the crying...I just got what was left of the mess. It's not an everyday occurrence thankfully but it from time to time these crazy random things seem to happen to us. This  time was so much different because someone else got my perspective and I learned that it's okay. I know his mom could have done without this experience and I know that it might have been easier for me to deal with it but the reality is that I wasn't there. I can't be there all the time and I definitely can't control what happens when I am not there. 

Part 3:

      Last but definitely not least, I've been volunteering at a girls camp the past few years for an entire weekend in February. It includes over night and when Aaron moved home it meant that we needed to get 24 hour coverage for him while I was away. The first year we had people lined up and then they cancelled their shifts at the last minute, this year was not much different. The company and I managed to work out a last minute schedule with the staff that got me where I needed to be most of the weekend but there were still a few glitches to work through. 

     I found out late Friday night that one of the ladies scheduled to help cover the Sunday shift was only available until 11:30 am, camp ends at 12 but it also takes over half an hour to drive home.  I started brainstorming friends  who were in town and not volunteering at camp with me who might be able to help cover that time on Sunday morning. It hit me at lunch when I saw our friend's husband (she was also volunteering with me for the weekend) stopped out at camp to see for lunch. He of course agreed to help without a second thought. I jumped in the car as soon as the girls left and I could go home. When I arrived home, I walked in to an empty living room. When I realized the guys were in the master bathroom, panic set in. All I could think for those three seconds it took me to walk into the bathroom was that I couldn't believe that Aaron couldn't wait an hour to use the bathroom until I got home (makes sense doesn't it?!) and that if there was a repeat of the last bathroom incident we may be one less friend! Thankfully it wasn't a #2 problem this time and our sweet friend was listening to Aaron give directions for him to help empty the catheter. Although I was still modified and embarrassed that our friend was helping with THIS I was also overwhelmed with his willingness to help out even when it may have been uncomfortable or just a little bit gross. As I stood there looking over them and apologizing at least six times (probably more), I realized the guys were okay. They totally had it under control and our sweet friend was helping with such graciousness. My heart got big and in that moment I was reminded how thankful I was for that friend and that maybe THIS wasn't as big of a thing as I had been making it out to be in my head all these years. 

   Letting go isn't as bad as I thought it was going to be, I just need to find the courage to do it more often. I may have been uncomfortable  with it at first but it was good to be able to let a few things go recently. 

ThErE iS nO pLaCe LikE hOmE...

It's been a few months...and a few years in the making but we are excited to announce that we have reached another milestone. 

Aaron is MOVING home...effective immediately!

If you know me well or have asked me about this particular topic then you know this was always a part of MY plan! 

     I'm thrilled to share our BIG secret! I have been avoiding phone calls with Aaron's family for months in order to surprise them with this exciting news! We even visited with his brother and sister in law a few weeks ago and it was all I could do to keep it quiet! And even Aaron didn't know the news until this morning, I figured it would be better that way (if you are Facebook friends with him and have seen his posts then you know exactly what I am talking about)!

     Even though it has come up in conversations many times, in January I received THE call to make it official. I actually got a message first telling me not to worry but we needed to talk about Aaron! There had been a recent care plan meeting and there was good news and bad news. The good news was that he was doing well and he actually surpassed the level of care that the rehab offers! Them the bad news, which wasn't that bad, we needed to find a better fit for him.  So we started talking about all of our options. Without thought, I said no to a group home setting, assisted living was another idea (and still can be if we need it in the future), and last but definitely not least was the option of coming home with help. 

     It has taken a lot of coordination, I am so thankful and beyond blessed with an amazing team of people to help us throughout this process! Just for starters we needed to have a doctor and nurse available as needed, get prescriptions in order, find someone to stay with Aaron and help Aaron at home if I am not there, and find backups to stay with Aaron just in case! (There's actually more than that but I won't bore you with any more details, you get the idea!)


     One of the obstacles we still have is that Aaron still needs 24 hour supervision.  Part of this is due to safety and the rest is because he still needs help with a lot of things like showering and getting dressed. Our most important job was finding the right person to care for Aaron and help him when I am at work or when I am gone. (Cool job right?!) We will also need to have a few back up plans of course.

    We have decide to hire a home health care aide through a local agency. We hope to have one main person that will be with us full time and be with Aaron as much as possible when I can't.  One of our back up plans is an adult day care that the county we live in has. It sounds really funny but it's actually a pretty cool program that we tried out a few summers ago! 

     There will definitely be an adjustment process for everyone and we are all still figuring it out! We are hanging out with our new home health care aide for the new two days, she's great by the way. The dog loves her too which is a plus, our silly dog seems to like four legged friends much better! 

     We will spend the next few days working on the transition from the rehab to home. Aaron will need to do another trial at the daycare (it's their protocol) since it's the back up plan during the beginning of next week. Then we will go from there! 


     

    Thanks to all who have been and continue to be a part of this journey and have prayed and continue to pray for Aaron! Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful and endures through every circumstance. 1: Cor. 13-7


     I also couldn't forget to give a very special thanks to our amazing friend, Beth Carter, who I can always count on to help take pictures to celebrate these special memories! You can check her out at http://www.bethcarterphotography.com 

jUsT bEcAuSe

      A little over a month ago, I got a flood of texts from family members asking what they could get Aaron for his birthday. As usual I didn't have a good answer and he certainly hadn't asked for anything and surely didn't need anything that I could think of.

      While taking to his mom and racking my brain for just ONE idea, I finally suggested sending something fun to him on his special day that he could show off like balloons!

       If I have the story right the local florist delivered Aaron's birthday balloons as scheduled. I can only assume they actually took them to Aaron's room and met him as they finished their delivery because later that evening they called Aaron's mom in Indiana to ask a few questions. It turns out that they wanted permission to send Aaron a little something each month to "brighten his day".

     A month went by quickly, I actually had forgotten about their call after the last balloon had deflated and they were finally in the trash. Then one evening, when I arrived for a visit, the ladies at the front desk asked me about the flowers Aaron had received earlier that day. I was perplexed for a moment until I remembered my mother in law's recent conversation with the florist.

     I reached for the card as soon as I entered the room and sure enough the florist was sending something to "brighten" Aaron's day as promised! If anyone needs a good recommendation for a florist in Winter Haven boy do I have one for you!